Trust
December 19th 2008 07:03
Category: No Category
Love shouldn't be hard but deep inside we make it hard, all because of the evil green man invading our minds. Jealousy and mistrust are two of the major causes of relationship failures. Half the time you may not even realise your drowning in it. It is really important to catch yourself doing it before someone else pulls you up on it.
I am a firm believer of insight. It is truly enlightening to maintain a foothold over your emotions and actions. Monitoring yourself shows clarity and will promote it in all the right ways toward everything in your life.
I think the most important facet for any relationship is trust. I used to think ‘if I can't trust myself how can I trust anyone else?!’ And to some degree I was right. But I did have to ask myself why?! Why didn’t I trust myself? Honestly, I think it was a cop out of taking any responsibility for my actions. But being unable to trust others is quite inhibiting and I may as well have locked myself away from the world.
If you are serious about someone and you want things to work, then you need trust. It goes both ways and in all ways. Being able to talk freely, openly and honestly will solve everything. If you can’t do this, then there is something I would question. Admittedly some people just never seem to be able to be reached or able to open up. Though I am telling you now, there is a way to reach everybody! You just need the patience to try.
So they’re staying back at work?! There are a few possible reasons; it’s busy, they need a break away from the psycho whinger or yes maybe there is a third party. Though, I am always going to be more prone to go with options one or two. The third is usually all in the head. Think about it, how often do you question their daily activities?
Swap bodies for a moment and think how you would feel should that person be questioning your daily activities day in day out. You wouldn’t like nor appreciate it now would you?! Yeah, it’s nice to be wanted, not strangled!
Our minds are capable of creating the most ridiculous shit, and the majority of what we construct usually is just that! I can sit here and question everything I see and hear and formulate a brilliant master plan of deceit. But the more I do it, the more I find myself stewing upon it and drowning in the negativity and paranoia and ultimately will become overly paranoid and be so self destructive that there will no longer be any time left to enjoy anything. And that my friends, is the one thing we all seem to forget… to simply enjoy!
When was the last time you simply sat and appreciated what you have and who it is there alongside you? What were the last three positive things you said to them? Be honest, was there anything positive you said at all? Or were you merely attacking them with your random thoughts of deceit?!
The world around us is all ready overly negative without us fuelling the fire. Start to monitor yourself; thoughts and actions. Take note of what is happening when these thoughts kick in. Is there a pattern emerging? Perhaps even try and joke about it with your beloved so you get it out in the open and stop hiding this treacherous soul consumer! The more honest you are with them, the more they’ll respect you. But the more ridiculous you get with your accusations the more they’ll resent you and this is what we don’t want!
We want to enjoy our time together, not stuff it up with petty crap. If you are unhappy about something, maybe it’s something within yourself you need to change?! Jealousy will push people away, having no trust will destroy you!
Here are a few simple tasks for freedom:
Note your feelings, your thoughts and the situation when they occur.
Check through them after a week and see if you can find any patterns for this behaviour.
Think about what you are going to say before you say it and ensure that’s really what you mean to say.
Think of all the possibilities that may answer your concerns, don’t just focus on the negatives.
Tell your partner their actions are making you feel uneasy and you are starting to feel mistrust (before you start with your accusations).
Focus on the most recent moments not small, pety things from the past.
Weigh it all up. If you honestly find the negatives are out weighing the positives, then maybe it's time to set them free.
I am a firm believer of insight. It is truly enlightening to maintain a foothold over your emotions and actions. Monitoring yourself shows clarity and will promote it in all the right ways toward everything in your life.
I think the most important facet for any relationship is trust. I used to think ‘if I can't trust myself how can I trust anyone else?!’ And to some degree I was right. But I did have to ask myself why?! Why didn’t I trust myself? Honestly, I think it was a cop out of taking any responsibility for my actions. But being unable to trust others is quite inhibiting and I may as well have locked myself away from the world.
If you are serious about someone and you want things to work, then you need trust. It goes both ways and in all ways. Being able to talk freely, openly and honestly will solve everything. If you can’t do this, then there is something I would question. Admittedly some people just never seem to be able to be reached or able to open up. Though I am telling you now, there is a way to reach everybody! You just need the patience to try.
If we don’t trust someone we love, we will ruin the entire relationship.
So they’re staying back at work?! There are a few possible reasons; it’s busy, they need a break away from the psycho whinger or yes maybe there is a third party. Though, I am always going to be more prone to go with options one or two. The third is usually all in the head. Think about it, how often do you question their daily activities?
Swap bodies for a moment and think how you would feel should that person be questioning your daily activities day in day out. You wouldn’t like nor appreciate it now would you?! Yeah, it’s nice to be wanted, not strangled!
Our minds are capable of creating the most ridiculous shit, and the majority of what we construct usually is just that! I can sit here and question everything I see and hear and formulate a brilliant master plan of deceit. But the more I do it, the more I find myself stewing upon it and drowning in the negativity and paranoia and ultimately will become overly paranoid and be so self destructive that there will no longer be any time left to enjoy anything. And that my friends, is the one thing we all seem to forget… to simply enjoy!
When was the last time you simply sat and appreciated what you have and who it is there alongside you? What were the last three positive things you said to them? Be honest, was there anything positive you said at all? Or were you merely attacking them with your random thoughts of deceit?!
The world around us is all ready overly negative without us fuelling the fire. Start to monitor yourself; thoughts and actions. Take note of what is happening when these thoughts kick in. Is there a pattern emerging? Perhaps even try and joke about it with your beloved so you get it out in the open and stop hiding this treacherous soul consumer! The more honest you are with them, the more they’ll respect you. But the more ridiculous you get with your accusations the more they’ll resent you and this is what we don’t want!
We want to enjoy our time together, not stuff it up with petty crap. If you are unhappy about something, maybe it’s something within yourself you need to change?! Jealousy will push people away, having no trust will destroy you!
Here are a few simple tasks for freedom:
Note your feelings, your thoughts and the situation when they occur.
Check through them after a week and see if you can find any patterns for this behaviour.
Think about what you are going to say before you say it and ensure that’s really what you mean to say.
Think of all the possibilities that may answer your concerns, don’t just focus on the negatives.
Tell your partner their actions are making you feel uneasy and you are starting to feel mistrust (before you start with your accusations).
Focus on the most recent moments not small, pety things from the past.
Weigh it all up. If you honestly find the negatives are out weighing the positives, then maybe it's time to set them free.
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