VeianetThe Almost Wife
November 17th 2010 18:39
Love is in the air...:
Faith
Category: It's all about love
for better or for worse...
While married, I have been in touch with a longtime guy named Charlie and decided to move across country to be with him after our divorce was final, hoping to start a new life and find love. It was a long process for everyone but mostly for me being the one complicating a once family life. Although, I was lucky to have an ex-husband who does care for the welfare of the kids, ages 7 and 10, my ex-husband purchased a house not far from where I will be living with Charlie and that seems fine with everyone. It will be good for the kids to be near their parents while trying to adapt a new life, new school and new set of friends. It was also agreed that my ex-husband do not have to pay child support as long as he will be there for the kids, close enough to be available for the kids.
Well, I thought it would be that simple. After being with Charlie for 5 years, I have realized how selfish and dumb I am to be with him. Charlie refers to me as "The Almost Wife" as we are not married for reasons I have never really thought of any need and he doesn't seem eager to change my status. We just left it that way. We have been together for five years and yet he is uncomfortable to dine with my kids because we are not a family, resembling my role as the almost wife.
We share intimacy but he won't share with the financial responsibility. Does that mean to say, he wanted me without the kids? He keeps telling me that he is not responsible to pay for the kids' activities of any sorts. I buy the groceries in the house and he doesn't share any dime for the food I cook but enjoys eating it anyway.
One day, he told me that his grown up kids would never visit him because of me. That was the last straw! A petty motivation for me to come to a decision, it is time to leave. Not doing any move on this matter is an insult to my presence. My whole family moved across country for me to be with him, ignoring his remarks for my children and yet he can't do anything for his children to give me a little respect?
I have come to my senses, how selfish of me, dragging my kids and ex-husband to move across country just to gratify my self-importance. My misstep has left me in a tailspin. It was a drastic decision made by me, to be with someone who would not consider me a family, my children as family members and doesn't seem to have an intention of supporting me. All he can offer is a roof and the rest would be my responsibility. If he is the kind of person who will not step up to the plate, then it is best to let him be alone.
I blamed myself for involving my whole family into this flawed relationship with Charlie and regretted it very much. Step by step, I am regaining control of my life, moving out of my own and putting the pieces back together.
It takes a Charlie to make me realized what I have done to my family and I ask forgiveness from my ex-husband and children who forgave me easily. What could I ask for? My role as " The Almost Wife" will passed when I learned to love what is in front of me and stop looking far away...
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